WHY can't I be japanese?

I'm going to live there. This is fact.

thought.

Tired cliche's roam the hallways, someone please put them to bed.

herbal

So.

I went to the doctor on friday for my spastic colon and just being generally run down and stressed out.
I couldn't go to my homeopath as she was out of town.

I told the doctor i was in my last year studying and have been experiencing some anxiety and tension. (Well fucking duuh, with my workload) 

He proceeded to prescribe me anti-biotics for my could-maybe-become flu and something he called a mood stabilizer "It's really great" he said. "We even give it to pregnant ladies"
"It'll help you concentrate and cope better".

So I was like not a chance am I taking the anti-biotics because those things should be the last resort. ALWAYS. Because although they have their place in severe cases, they really aren't good for your body.

I was skeptical about these "mood stabilizers" so I turned to my trusty companion Google.
Thank science I did! Espiride for the treatment of severe depression, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders. The amount of bad feedback online was astounding

"Took away any an all feeling of enjoyment"

"Not interested in sex anymore"

"Made me feel drugged up and like a zombie"

"Made me lactate, i'm not pregnant"

Sorry but this is where I say, what the flying fuck was he thinking.

I spent a grand total of 15 minutes with him. I'm not depressed, in fact I'm the happiest I've been.

I understand that medication like that helps people and has its place, but is sure as shit isn't for me.

This is why western medicine can get on my nerves. They're just treating symptoms and handing out prescriptions without looking towards the cause. This is why i'm sticking to my homeopath because:

1. She's the best

2. She e-mails me to see how i'm feeling

3. She's all about finding the cause and fixing it there

4. She's a boss at acupuncture

5. She's the reason i haven't had a migraine in 2 months.

Fuck yeah homeopathts.

No pooey pills for me.

I'll just carry on caring too much, getting stressed and pushing through.

I prescribe myself cuddles and sleep.

today.

Today I feel like people should just go and shit on themselves.

Cool story, bro.

dirt.

I have the hugest crush on her right now.

I.

I get the whole I'm trying to be so unbelievably shit  that I'm being cool thing.

I understand that nothing's completely original anymore

I get that because of this self-proclaimed interwebz queenz have to do something to validate themselves.

I understand it's meant to be for the LOLZ and is an attempt at irony.

I understand it's a supposed case of I'm so smart ima type LYK DIZ.

I understand that this is just as contrived.

I understand, but to what end?

I feel like my life is currently a series of face palms and da fuq's.

I don't understand.

AV (at) ETT

So it can be extremely difficult to find genuine honest music these days. Something amid the too hip for life or auto-tuned swill we're submitted to everyday.

Here's an honest gem I really love. And i'm all for brothers being in bands with brothers then throw in an asian, a banjo, a man wearing a hat and you have my attention. Most of all I just love the authenticity. (The Avett Brothers) 

Haven't been the biggest country advocate in the past but i have my exceptions. 

Also Scott i'll marry you even though your middle name is Yancey.

Everyone has a blog. Everyone has a point of view. 

For the most part I think your point of view is irrelevant.

I haven't written on here in almost a year. I was too busy living life.

I need to write more, the thing is i'm writing all the time, but not for myself.

It's my final year of studying. I'm scared i've burnt out. I used to be so good at getting myself excited.

Has my apathy overtaken my intense need to achieve? Lets hope not.

I still have so much to do, so much i need to say.

I miss my friends. 

I want to move far away.

I want to move where people are authentic.

I have a problem with most people

I have too many feelings.

Thank science for the people that know me, really know me. 

There are only about 3 of you.

You keep me sane.

Dear Cape Town, you're stupid.

Sincerely, 

Bella.

The End.