Then another part is so relieved to not feel so anguished.
There is nothing more agonizing than losing respect for someone.
And another part is grossed out.
And then another part is so excited.
Basically I have too many feelings and my brain is like FUCK THIS NOISE.
So i'm just going with apathy because this whole curse of authenticity thing is too much for me right now.
I have too much to do.
On a lighter note I have my November internship confirmed and I am so excited to go back and blow minds because my self-doubt can go and fuck itself. Thats another feeling all my doubts, doubts about the future and my career have disappeared. *poof* gone. I'm exactly where I want and need to be. Bring on more people like me, the intelligent, ambitious, silly and over sensitive.
I know most of them won't be, but i caught glimpses of those that were.
Sometimes, I wish I was better at lying to myself for the short term.
You know the whole: "fake it till you make it."
I never have been.
I never will be.
The fact of the matter is:
I'll make it, because I don't fake it.